Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

GEORGE W. BUSH
We donít really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two Different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.
RALPH NADER
The chickenís habitat on the original side of the road had been Polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I donít know why the chicken crossed the road, but Iíll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and Iíll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can red blooded Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, Iím talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isnít it obvious? Canít you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the ďother side.Ē Thatís what they call it-the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens Ďtil we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like ďthe other side.Ē
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, Iíve not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didnít ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS
Isnít that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of sedition and we were justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN
I donít recall any chicken crossing any road.
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of the Chicken.
MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmerís market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a bird gave me any insider information.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. It depends on what you mean by chicken. Would you define chicken ?
THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, ďThou shalt cross the road.Ē And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one ?

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