We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on
our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle
ground here.
AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented
the application of these two Different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to
bring greater services to the American people.
RALPH NADER
The chicken’s habitat on the original side of the road had been Polluted by unchecked industrialist
greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was
crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don’t know why the chicken crossed the road, but I’ll bet it was getting a government grant to
cross the road, and I’ll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens
with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can red blooded
Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax
dollars, I’m talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for
chickens to cross.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of
your face? The chicken was going to the “other side.” That’s what they call it-the other side. Yes,
my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens ‘til we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with
seemingly harmless phrases like “the other side.”
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I’ve not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken
crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS
Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first
time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to
accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of sedition and we were justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on
it.
VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN
I don’t recall any chicken crossing any road.
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you
believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying
sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your checkbook- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of
the Chicken.
MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer’s
market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a bird gave me any insider information.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. It depends on what you mean by chicken. Would you
define chicken ?
THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.” And
the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
